chicken & egg, AT THE SAME TIME [mind blown]


The little waste-not-want-not gremlin within me gets off on using leftovers.

I cooked a chicken last night and didn’t eat all of it [because I’m not a complete caveman]. And my normal routine of 4 whites and 2 yolks [don’t fret, I save the yolks for quick custard] felt like it wanted to reconnect with its chicken mama. 

That, and Wiff not-so-subtly took all the ingredients out of the fridge as a hint that it was feeding time.

Total Time: 15 minutes
Serves 2
300 calories / serving


  • 4 egg whites
  • 2 egg yolks
  • 40g cheddar cheese [1 handful; about 1/2 cup]
  • 2g kosher salt [ two three-finger pinches]
  • 4g Canola oil [1 tbsp-ish]
  • 100g Kale [two-handed handful, manhand sized]
  • 100g leftover chicken [breast and thigh meat plus some unidentifiable meat parts]
  • 25g leftover red onion [maybe 1/3 c?]
  • 1/4c water [optional, to help wilt the kale]


  1. Whisk together egg yolks and whites and half the salt in a bowl.
    Keep whisking until it’s a homogeneous mixture. You don’t want be snotty chunks of white in there. [Or maybe you’re into that?]
  2. Add oil and kale to a large frying pan and heat over medium high heat. Don’t touch it.
    Seriously, the only way these superfoods/weeds taste good is when they’re browned [scroll to the bottom of that page for more info].
  3. Once the kale bottoms are browned, flip them over. Add the chicken and onion. Mix to combine, and then DO NOT TOUCH. You want everything browned.
    Taste the kale. Does it taste good? You like that? If not, add the last gram [three fingered pinch of salt]. Then reserve the kale mixture to a bowl.
  4. Melt the butter in the same pan [#onePotMeal] and adjust heat to medium-low. Add eggs.
    Most people fuck scrambled eggs up. Put down the mimosa for 5 minutes and give these eggs the love and attention they deserve. Some chicken [probably the one you had last night] surrendered its eggs so that you could grow big and strong. Don’t let it down.
  5. Slowly stir the eggs with a silicone spatula. You can add the cheese all at once at the beginning or intermittently as the eggs scramble [my fave]. DO NOT OVERCOOK THE EGGS.
    Remember what I said about most people overcooking them? They get too dry and then they taste like shit. If your eggs usually suck [they probably do] then experiment with me [wink] and remove them from the heat when they look just a little underdone to you. They should be shiny. They will continue to cook on the plate.