Strawberry Gin Smash

This is a strawberry gin smash. It has strawberry. It has gin. It has the ability to get people smashed in warm weather.

The smash is large category of cocktail. More of a formula really. You need ice, a fruit or herb or, if you really want to go wild, then fruit AND herb, or fruits or herbs, something to sweeten it, and something to stiffen it. (We’re not just drinking this for our health now, are we? If you do want to drink this for your health, put the ingredients in a blender, add four handfuls of kale and, right before you blend it, kill yourself.)

You don’t need to a skilled home bartender to make this. You don’t need to be skilled at anything, really. If you can follow directions and put four things into a glass, you’re in good shape.


Makes 1 drink

  • 2 oz Gin
  • 3/4 oz Lemon Juice
  • 3/4 oz 1:1 simple syrup
  • 4 strawberries
    3 big, 5 small, don’t get bent out of shape if it’s not 4)
  • Good tonic water, or regular club soda, or shitty tonic water.
    Again, don’t worry if you don’t have “the good stuff”.
  • Ice


  1. Put the strawberries into a glass. Any glass. Chances are the glass you’re thinking about in your cupboard, the one with the fading logo of your alma mater and a chipped rim, yeah, that’s okay too. If you want to be all Martha Stewart about this then you’re probably on the wrong site. Get a fucking glass, put the strawberries in it, and muddle them. Don’t have a muddler? Find something to smash them. That’s all muddling is. Smashing. Some might say “smooshing”, in which case I’d probably want to punch them in the mouth. But people are people. That’s why we’re drinking these in the first place. To enjoy the sun and forget about the fifth wheel who found out you were having a little get-together on the patio and is hitting on the only other unattached gal your wife invited.
  2. Add the rest of the ingredients. (Yes, that includes ice. That’s why I listed ice as an ingredient.)
  3. Stir.
  4. Drink.