The Weekly: 6
Hello people who actually say "ooh" and "ahh" while watching fireworks.
If I could send a message to my younger 4th of July self it would be this, "It's all fun and games until someone tosses an unopened box of bottle rockets into a bonfire and one flies up your shorts and explodes and an off-duty paramedic has to apply burn cream to the part of your thigh no one should ever see."
Stay safe this 4th. And don't wear baggy shorts.
I will be performing my first ever stand-up set at Gotham Comedy Club in July as part of my stand-up class's graduation. If you're in the NYC area come out and laugh at me.
Till Death Do Us Part
Marriage vows end with "till death do us part." Which means, in the eyes of religion, you're free to marry again. But what happens when you meet again in the afterlife? Won't it be awkward when you explain to your first spouse, who's anxiously waiting at the pearly gates for your arrival, that you've moved on?
"But I waited for you!"
"I thought you were dead."
"You always do this..."
And what happens when your second spouse comes looking for you in heaven only to find you've hooked back up with #1? Who gets custody of the pets?
Dish I'm Cooking
As many [ten] of you know, Wiff and I were in New Orleans last week for the grand opening of my cousin Vinnie's [not making that up] new restaurant, Meribo. It was incredible. But I came home to an empty fridge and Amazon Fresh isn't scheduled to deliver groceries until tomorrow... Which means we hadto order take out tonight. My go to take out? Shorty's, the best Philly cheesesteaks in or out of Philly.
Drink I'm Drinking
The Jasmine. The Jasmine holds a special place in my (and Wiff's) heart. We were introduced to the Jasmine by Craig DeBolt, one of our favorite bartenders at one of our favorite bars in Seattle, Oliver's.