May 20, 2017
On the road again...
I keep singing that lyric over and over.
Partly because Wiff, Pom, and I are on the road again. But also because those are the only lyrics of the song I know.
Everything else, I hum [perfectly on key].
I'm pretty sure it's a Willie Nelson song. But you wouldn't surprise me if you said it was Randy Travis or some other music icon. Is Randy Travis a music icon? I do know most [four] of the words to King of the Road...
I'm writing this week's The Weekly from beautiful San Antonio.
Are there any songs about San Antonio? [The only three words I'd know would probably be Remember the Alamo!]
This is our second time in San Antonio. It's a little on the muggy side. Both times we've been here I've sweat through every shirt I've worn [back away, ladies, I'm taken]. But it's so charming! There's a nice riverwalk area [called "The Riverwalk"] where you can drag your dog - who's so afraid of falling into the river that she will only walk on the left side of the riverwalk path - along, bumping into oncoming traffic. Which makes us look like clueless tourists from the UK.
Most of the restaurants along The Riverwalk are dog friendly, which means all three of us get to eat and drink [and sweat] in the humidity while passers by gawk at our dog.
The dog gawking has gotten a little out of hand. Everybody and their dogs comment on how cute our little Bailey is. Are there no dogs in Texas? I realize it's hot here, but surely they've gotta have some of the hairless ones? No? And that's not to say our little Bailey isn't the cutest little [frizzy] fluff ball you ever did see. But still, everybody?
Let's Check on Those 'Chos.
I posted a video on how to make a traditional Mexican delicacy, Nachos [Nachos, in Spanish].
It's hilarious. And informative. [Classic Anthony, really.]
I include two tips in this video for free. The first is ... you know what ... I can't remember what the first was. I was going to do this thing where I'd tell you the first tip here and then suggest you watch the video for the second tip. But I know you're just going to watch the video anyway. So the teaser would be completely unnecessary.
I think you'll like the video because you like funny people and learning new things.
I also think you'll want to subscribe (below) to be notified whenever I publish a new video because I'll make you laugh.
Mise en Place is French for "get your shit together".
You might have noticed in the video that I've got all my ingredients lined up in pretty bowls. This isn't scene dressing. [That's what my face is for.]
Having all the ingredients cut, measured, and otherwise prepped will save you tons of Time and Aggravation [T&A for short].
Here's an example to show you what I mean:
Lots of T&A
Road Trip Things
thoughts I've had while driving across the country.
I saw a billboard that said "There IS Evidence For God." [Emphasis is God's]. Whatever your religious beliefs, doesn't claiming the existence of evidence for God undermine the whole faith thing? Isn't that what makes religion special? In the face of scientific demands for proof you're supposed to say "nah, I'm good!" Religion could sidestep the whole burden of proof thing by saying "we don't have to cuz...faith." Put that in your burning bush.
I drove past a U-Haul SuperMover. [No space.] There's a diagram on the back to show how aerodynamic it is compared to the leading brands' boxes on wheels. Red airflow lines are bad. Blue are good. SuperMover [no space] had lots of blue. The other leading brand? All red. [wah wah...] Do they really think this is going to sway people? I picture some couple shopping for a moving truck.
"What about this one, Gerald?"
"How much blue does it have?"
"It's all blue!"
"Great! We'll save a few nickels on gas."
Does anyone use nickels anymore? I think the nickel's heyday was back in the '40s, when people still used phrases like “heyday”. When you could go down to the soda shop and some jerk would pull your phosphate [not as dirty as it sounds]. And it only cost a nickel. In today's dollars, a credit card swipe.
Credit cards get all sorts of sexy verbs: swipe, dip, tap, decline. Cash is so boring. You hand cash to someone. Cash's verbs all require an object. Hand to. Give to. Put in the stripper's thong. Cash takes two people. Which was nice when we liked doing things with other people. Now we want nothing to do with them. And our payment verbs reflect that. I swipe. I chip. I dip [you dip, we dip]. The only reason I even talk to a cashier is to decline his offer to join the mailing list.
I'm reading a self help book on this road trip. What if this is as good as I get? No amount of Tony Robbins is going to change my situation. And isn't the genre "self help" misleading? Self help would be like me writing a book on how to help myself...[I'm already confused]...and then reading that book. They should be called help books. But that gets confusing when you're in a bookstore...
"I'm looking for help books."
"The Help by Kathryn Stockett?"
"Will it awaken my giant within?"
"It won an Oscar..."
Would you mind liking my Facebook page?
I'm on a mission to "build my platform" to make myself prettier for publishers, and part of that that means increasing my Facebook audience. [The other part is makeup.]
And if you're not already doing so... [and also as part of making myself more attractive to publishers]