That's MISTER Table Assistant To You
It's been a while. I know it. You know it. The one fan [out of millions] on Instagram who messaged me asking "Whatever happened to the weekly? ☹" knows it. [This is for you, @kaspergren!]
I have no good reason why I let your cherished The Weekly go several weeks without attention.
That's a pretty lame excuse.
Especially for someone SO on top of every single minute detail of his life.
[That sound you just heard was my family, all my friends, and every teacher and manager I've ever had snickering.]
The one thing that's been taking more attention than usual is my cookbook project.
Loyal subscribers are already "in the know" so to speak [not sure why I used quotes or wrote "so to speak"... I'm pretty sure most people slash the world know what "in the know" means.]
But I'm *this* close to going out on proposal!
Which, I think, is the part where publishers line up with wheelbarrows full of gold [I'm not looking for much] and beg for the right to publish my book.
That's how it works, right?
I also got a promotion at work!
I'm now Table Assistant.
It's a pretty sweet gig.
I get to attend book signings with my wife, and...get this...assist with her table!
The main responsibilities are setting up the table, and smiling while Wiff answers the same three questions over and over [and ensuring the flasks are full].
This past weekend we had friends in town.
And we went to brunch in TriBeCa.
If you're not familiar with TriBeCa, just know that TriBeCa contains the only population of people that care whether you capitalize the T, B, and C in TriBeCa.
All the women there have black wide-brimmed hats, jeans without knees, and wear aviators.
All the men have beards.
And everyone brunches.
[Not really my crowd...]
But I realized something on this trip to TriBeCa [nailed it!]...
I'm over brunch.
Most people love it because it's an excuse to day drink. But if you don't have a problem with day drinking in the first place [like me] then it loses its appeal.
And the meal options are too much. Breakfast AND lunch? TWO MEALS?? Life is hard enough...
Just pick one! Otherwise we'd go to a diner. I can't get behind something that condones indecisiveness. Too many menu options.