How to Toss Salad Like a B. O. Double S.

[Warning. This article is tongue-in-cheek...]

Tossing salad is one of my favorite midday tasks. It's easy, quick, and everyone can do it.

But most people are terrible salad tossers. [Amateurs.]

Here are my tips to lead to a more enjoyable salad tossing experience.

Greens First

Nothing crazy, just great tasting Bibb/Boston/Butter lettuce, or frissee/chicory, or any lettuce that goes by several names and thus requires a "/", and dressing.

Because we're using so few ingredients, each ingredient has to taste awesome. 

1. Use Flavorful Greens

Bibb/Boston/Butter lettuce, Radicchio [less a green, more a purple], or Kale* are my recommendations. Flavorful also means fresh. Nothing brown or wilted.

*make sure to chop kale VERY thinly. Otherwise it's like chewing linen. Also, you can tenderize it by massaging it with your hands and/or pre-tossing it with a little bit of acid (vinegar, lemon juice). 

2. Use Flavorful Dressing [No Bottles Allowed]

You don't want the dressing overpowering those beautiful greens. One way to ensure you don't overpower is to not use shitty dressing. Shitty is defined as anything out of a bottle [I'm not even kidding.]

Briefly whisk together some good olive oil or even canola oil, a little bit of acid, Dijon mustard, and salt. 

Why mustard? 

Because it's an emulsifier. Which basically means it helps keep the oil and vinegar mixed together. And because it tastes good.

Why Dijon? 

Because you're an adult. Next question.

Why Salt? 

Because we like flavorful things.

3. Toss Well

We've got flavorful greens, now what? 

Toss them well. You better make sure every last one of those pretty little leaves is lightly glistening. They gave their life for this. Don't mess it up.

Drizzle the dressing into a large mixing bowl - get it all up on the sides; don't focus on just the bottom - add lettuce(s), and Toss. That. Salad!

TOSS LIKE A BOSS TIP: Do this right before serving. The greens will wilt as they sit covered in dressing.

Adding "Other Stuff"?

Prep Each Ingredient Individually

Adding haricot vert? Blanch or roast them separately first. Salt and dress. THEN mix. 

Potatoes? Ditto. Boil, roast, whatever, THEN oil and salt. And THEN? 

You guessed it. Mix it all together.

Why?

Because we want to make sure each individual ingredient is perfect before conducting the final toss.

Essentially, we're tossing a few mini salads first, and then we're mixing to combine at the end.

Anyway...

These are just a few gansta salad tossing tips from a pro salad tosser. Let me know what you think in the comments below. 

Best of luck, you tossers!