Shots on Goal

I taped 6 auditions today—four for voiceover gigs and two for on-camera gigs. I enjoy each audition, but I hate the process of auditioning.

The difference between being in an audition and auditioning is like the difference between playing soccer and watching soccer. When you’re on the field playing, you’re present, you’re alive, you’re in the scene, ready to respond to whatever the other players give you. But when you’re watching soccer, you’re always three beers in, drinking to forget the fact that you somehow you got roped into watching a sport played mostly by people who can’t afford air conditioning.

Often, when I’m planning my day and looking at all the auditions I have to do, I’ll let myself go up into my head, and brew up a nice, pensive little mood thinking about how my life isn’t going anywhere and how none of these auditions will lead to anything and I’m a terrible actor and even worse person [but at least I’m better than soccer fans]. But then, from the far reaches of my brain, a ref will blow a little whistle and hold up a red card and he’ll force me to stop my little drama-queen show of rolling around on the field, wincing in pain, holding my ankle even though the only thing it touched was a blade of grass, and it’s just enough to jolt me out of my mood and force me to get back in the game.

And then, when I decide to setup the camera, print out the sides—actor-speak for scripts—and start rolling the camera, I have so much fun.

To remind myself to spend less time thinking about doing the audition and actually doing the audition, I’ve started watching outtakes of some of my previous auditions. Here’s one from a recent shoot where Wiff shot spit wads at my face. The trick is to get over the hump from thinking to doing. When I think about auditioning, I loathe it. But when I get into shooting? I’m pumped. It’s in the doing of the thing that I remember how much fun it is, and why I’m doing it: because it’s fun, because it can support my family, and because it can support my comedy career.

After all, isn’t that the goal?