Asparagus Risotto w/ Mint, Brussels Sprouts

This was a spur-of-the-moment "hmm, I need to use that asparagus up" creation. What better way to feature the flavor that purée it and add to rice, butter, and oil? 

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Ingredients

recipe in progress

• 3 tbsp Olive Oil
• 2 tbsp Butter
• 1 small Onion (weight?)
• 1 small Shallot (100g?)
• 2 cloves garlic (10g?)
• 150g Carnaroli risotto
  not arborio
• Kosher Salt
• Broth
• Asparagus
• Cheese
• Mint

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Recipe

For the asparagus:

1. Cut off the tips. Then cut them in half length wise. You want them to be easy to eat. And if you're cooking for your girlfriend/wife, you should know they have smaller mouths and also don't like to eat like a caveman at a Brazilian steak house. Reserve the tips.
2. Cut off and discard woody ends. How much? I don't know, depends on how long your asparagus is. [Don't make it dirty.] 1-2 inches is a good rule of thumb. You're trying to remove the really fibrous stuff that tastes like shit and feels like chewing bamboo shoots.
3. Roughly chop the rest into pieces 1/2 inch long. They don't have to be 1/2 inch long. They could be an inch. Or 2. I don't care. Don't be difficult.
4. Blanch the pieces until they're soft. Not flaccid. Just until they lose their vegetable rawness. Probably about 5 minutes. Blanching is a fancy word for boiling. So put a pot of water on to boil. Salt it until it tastes like the ocean. Haven't tasted the ocean? That's normal. In fact, I don't know how people know what the ocean tastes like. When the hell are you actually tasting the ocean? Mm mm... Yummy ocean.
5. Remove the asparagus from the boiling water and throw them in a blender. Blend until completely puréed. Does it look totally puréed? Blend for 5 minutes more. Add a little broth if you need to loosen it up.
6. Reserve this purée.

For the Brussels sprouts:

1. Cut crosswise into 1/4 inch slices. I used a mandolin for more consistent slice sizes, but use a knife. Just don't cut yourself. 
2. Toss in a bowl with olive oil and salt. 
3. Spread on a baking pan lined with foil. 
4. Roast in the oven at 350 until they're just about burnt. Some will be burnt, that's okay. They'll taste awesome. Plan on ~45-60 minutes for this step. Just use your eyes and nose to tell when they're done. You want these bad boys crunchy. They're a topping after all. 

For the risotto:

1. Add 2-3 tbsp olive oil and 2-3 tbsp butter to a large and deep pan and heat over med-high heat. I use a Le Creuset. Use something that has deep enough sides that things won't splatter when you're stirring for 30 minutes. Also make sure it's wide enough that you can easily access everything. Also make sure you've got the arm strength/endurance to make this. Also, be drinking wine. 
2. When the oil/butter-heaven-mixture is just about smoking, add onion, shallot, and garlic. Stir. Do not stop stirring. You don't want it to burn. If it starts getting too smoky/burned, lower the heat to medium. I like med-high. I also like walking on the wild side.
3. Once the onion/shallot/garlic is soft and translucent, toss in the risotto.
4. Stir. We're looking to toast the risotto a little. But keep stirring so it doesn't burn.
5. Once it's toasted, hit it with about a 1/2 cup of broth. And 1 tbsp kosher salt. Yeah, it seems like a lot but you're seasoning a lot of risotto. If you're stingy with the salt this dish will taste like shit. You want your food to be like restaurant food? Salt more. Want to be a better person? Salt more. Want 1000 more followers instantly on Instagram? Sal-- never mind.