Roasted Radishes (aww...aren't they cute?)

Ingredients

• Radishes
  Yeah, radishes. What were you expecting based on the title?
• Olive Oil
  Doesn't have to be fancy.
• Kosher Salt
  always use kosher salt

---

Recipe

1. Toss radishes in a bowl with olive oil and salt. Use more salt than you think you'll need. You should SEE salt crystals on the radishes.
2. Put on a foil-lined baking pan.
3. Roast at 350 until done. I don't know you or your oven so I can't guess at how your oven cooks. [I could, but I'm doing a bit.] 45 minutes is probably a reasonable estimate.
4. Eat.

The Negroni

A red Negroni on a white marble tabletop.

Ahhhh, the Negroni. I love this drink. It's so bitter and Italian [just like me].

It has equal parts gin, Campari, and sweet vermouth. No OJ, no bitters, and everything is in equal parts. But bartenders hose this up all the time. I have no idea how or why; the recipe is on the back of the friggen Campari bottle!

I've had bartenders make up stories about how this is a "riff on a Manhattan" [it's not] and that's why they just used gin, sweet vermouth, and bitters [I'm looking at you Purple Restaurant, Bellevue, WA].

Or that it's "just a gin martini with a splash of Campari" [ahem, Sheraton Hotel in Parsippany, NJ].

No other drink has its recipe printed on the bottle of its one irreplaceable ingredient!

Ingredients

C'mon, really? Did you miss the whole "equal parts" thing at the top of this post?

• 1 oz gin. Every time you use a craft gin in a Negroni a hipster's beard grows an inch. Craft gins are too flavorful and not dry enough for a Negroni. Plus they're way too expensive for mixed drinks. Gordon's, Beefeater, and Tanqueray are fine.

• 1 oz Campari. Don't use anything else except Campari. And don't you dare use Aperol. If any bartender tells you Aperol is a more approachable Campari punch him in the waistcoat. They are owned by the same company but are different. Campari is 24% abv, Aperol is 14%. Campari is bitter. Aperol tastes like watermelons.

• 1 oz Sweet Vermouth. Here's where you can be fancy. Carpano's Antica Formula is my favorite. I also like Punt e Mes but only use half as much because it's sweeter. Noilly Prat and Dolin are fantastic. Cinzano, Martini & Rossi, and the other shitty vermouths work perfectly fine too.

The Recipe

1. Put all ingredients in a glass with ice. Sure, you can use a fancy crystal mixing glass but you can also use a pint glass. Or any glass. Hell, you could use a plastic jug for all I care. The whole point here is to chill and ever-so-slightly water down the cocktail.

2. Stir for 30-60 seconds. (I don't need to explain how to do this.)

3. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. I use a julep strainer. You can use two forks. The goal is to separate ice from the liquid. Get creative.

4. Garnish with an orange twist. (Not a slice, a wheel, or wedge. And definitely not lemon. A twist can be as simple as taking a vegetable peeler or knife and peeling of a strip of orange peel, and then expressing the oils into the drink. If "expressing" is too fancy for you, then replace it with "squeezing". This is NOT just for decoration. The oils in the peel are flavorful and aromatic and complement the drink nicely.)

The Last Pesto Recipe You'll Ever Need

Last updated: February 18, 2026

Step up your game and try making pesto. Trust me. It's easy. If you can't throw 6 ingredients into a food processor and turn it on, you have much bigger issues than needing to find a pesto recipe.

Pesto means "sauce" in Latin. Or maybe it means "pounded" in Italian. I’ve heard it both ways.

The cool thing is this is a formula. You can use whatever greens, oil, nuts, garlic, and hard cheese you have on hand. Pretty cool, right? I know. You came here looking for a pesto recipe and I'm teaching you to fish. Don't make me explain that. Also, I’ll give you both the formula AND the recipe, so those of you with little kitchen experience and a lot of anxiety will be okay. Calm down, pop a Xanax, and let’s cook.

A note about ingredients: For greens, the default is basil, but I used spinach and Italian parsley recently and it was awesome. Try cilantro for a Mexican version. For oil, stick with extra virgin olive oil or any nut oil. Canola is flavored but I guess you could use it. For nuts, pine nuts are traditional but super pricey. I've used almonds and cashews together and alone. They're great. For cheese, stick with hard cheeses. True DOP Parmigiano-Reggiano is king, but try Pecorino Romano for a 🐐 twist. DO NOT buy Kraft “Parmesan.” It’s not real parmesan. For acid, use freshly squeezed lemon juice, white wine vinegar, champagne vinegar, etc.

Makes: 2 cups

Ingredients

If you prefer volumetric measurements instead of weight, use my dad’s recipe below.

GREENS | 450g
OIL | 300g
NUTS | 150g
CHEESE | 150g ACID | 30g e.g.,
GARLIC | 30g
SALT | (to taste)

Notice anything interesting about those numbers? Specifically how they relate to each other? They're all divisible by 30, which leaves us with a wonderfully clean ratio. That means you can easily scale this up or down. Translation, using just a wee bit of math, you can make a lot or a little pesto. And feel like Einstein in the process.

The Ratios:

GREENS | 15
OIL | 10
NUTS | 5
CHEESE | 5
ACID | 1
GARLIC | 1
SALT | (still to taste)

My Dad’s Recipe

8oz basil
8 garlic cloves
2 cups pine nuts
2 cups Parmigiano
1 1/3 cup olive oil

Directions

Okay, I don't meant to insult you, but this should be simple. It's two steps. Two. Steps.

Put everything except the oil into the food processor and blend or process. Add oil and blend some more.

[All other recipes say to slowly drizzle the olive oil in. Some sciencey shit about creating an emulsion. I used to do that. And then I stopped. Because I got lazy. And you know what? ZERO DIFFERENCE.] Bravo. You just made pesto. Toss it with some noodles, slather it on your steak. Eat spoonfuls of it while no one's looking [my fave].

Extra Credit

If you're so inclined, and I highly recommend that you get yourself inclined, I'd recommend blanching the greens and the garlic before blending/processing. Why? Because I said so, that's why. But If you need another reason besides blindly following the advice of someone you've never met [and hopefully never will], the other reason is that it will make your pesto stay a bright beautiful green instead of turning into that muddy-green-baby-poo-after-Indian-food color. Also, blanching the garlic tempers its bite, so you get garlic flavor without the burn.

To blanch:

1. Bring a pot of salted water to boil. It should taste like the ocean. [Salty.]

2. Toss garlic in.

3. Remove after about 5 minutes. I don't know exactly how long. It could be 4 minutes, or 8. Probably shouldn't be more than 10.

4. Toss greens in.

5. Remove once they turn bright green and lose their crunch. Around 5 seconds for basil. Around 20-30 seconds for parsley or cilantro. No, I'm not giving you the exact time to blanch. It depends on what greens you're using. Use your judgement. You're not a complete fool [despite what your spouse screams at you after she gets her Cosmo Confidence going].

6. Squeeze as much of the water out as you can. If you've never squeezed warm wet greens before, shit's about to get weird. It's uncomfortable, but just think of it as a sponge you're wringing out and are about to pulverize into a sauce.

Anthony LeDonne Weighs His Pesto Like A Drug Dealer

Strawberry Gin Smash

This is a strawberry gin smash. It has strawberry. It has gin. It has the ability to get people smashed in warm weather.The smash is large category of cocktail. More of a formula really. You need ice, a fruit or herb or, if you really want to go wild, then fruit AND herb, or fruits or herbs, something to sweeten it, and something to stiffen it. (We’re not just drinking this for our health now, are we? If you do want to drink this for your health, put the ingredients in a blender, add four handfuls of kale and, right before you blend it, kill yourself.)You don’t need to a skilled home bartender to make this. You don’t need to be skilled at anything, really. If you can follow directions and put four things into a glass, you’re in good shape.

Ingredients

Makes 1 drink

• 2 oz Gin

• 3/4 oz Lemon Juice

• 3/4 oz 1:1 simple syrup

• 4 strawberries3 big, 5 small, don’t get bent out of shape if it’s not 4)

• Good tonic water, or regular club soda, or shitty tonic water.Again, don’t worry if you don’t have “the good stuff”.

• Ice

Recipe

1. Put the strawberries into a glass. Any glass. Chances are the glass you’re thinking about in your cupboard, the one with the fading logo of your alma mater and a chipped rim, yeah, that’s okay too. If you want to be all Martha Stewart about this then you’re probably on the wrong site. Get a fucking glass, put the strawberries in it, and muddle them. Don’t have a muddler? Find something to smash them. That’s all muddling is. Smashing. Some might say “smooshing”, in which case I’d probably want to punch them in the mouth. But people are people. That’s why we’re drinking these in the first place. To enjoy the sun and forget about the fifth wheel who found out you were having a little get-together on the patio and is hitting on the only other unattached gal your wife invited.

2. Add the rest of the ingredients. (Yes, that includes ice. That’s why I listed ice as an ingredient.)

3. Stir.

4. Drink.

Pulled Pork Stew

It’s a miscarriage of a name. I know it. You know it. No one has ever said “I can’t wait to tell the waiter I want his stew.” I don’t know why you’d be talking to yourself at a restaurant. Also, “his stew?” Yikes, what’s wrong with you…

Despite the horrible name this is a wonderful meal. It’s also dirt cheap. And so easy to make. If you went back in time and were trapped in the middle ages, you could make this and they’d call you a god. Or maybe a witch. They didn’t like witches, did they?

Anyway, like I was saying, this is an easy recipe. I’m a lazy guy so I’ll take any chance to do less work. And I love cheap things. So this really is a match made in heaven. Or Valhalla/Nirvana. Or whatever special breed of fairy tale afterlife your religion affords you.

---

Ingredients

(For the pulled pork)

• 1 whole bone-in pork shoulder
  Yeah, the whole thing. And don’t do anything to it. If I wanted you to slice it or cube it or some shit I would have said that. The last time I ordered one from Amazon Fresh the bone was sticking out and it had the skin on. If you can find one like this you’ll thank me. 

• Water
  Don’t get fancy here. Just use plain fucking tap water. 

(For the finished dish)

• Some pulled pork.
  Enough for two people. I don’t know how big or small you are. Use your best judgement.

• Pork Broth
  (Reserve some of the liquid from the pulled pork recipe).

• Kosher Salt
  Don’t be stingy here. Use enough to make it taste good. If your doc told you to watch your sodium, chances are you’re getting too much from the four Jimmy Dean turkey breakfast sausages you’re starting each day with, not from the salt you cook with. And don’t use regular iodized salt.

• Canned Chipotle peppers
  You’ll find these in the “Ethnic” aisle in almost any grocery store. The sample place you find the salsa and hard taco shells every May 4th. 

• Stale bread
  Sure, fresh is fine too. Don’t use sliced loaf bread. Get a baguette. Or Italian bread. Something with a little more interest than Wonder Bread. And no seeds. Bread shouldn’t have seeds. You’re not a goddamn bird. 

---

Recipe

(For the pulled pork)

1. Put the pork shoulder in a pressure cooker. Put enough water in to cover it. But make sure your pressure cook's big enough. They usually tell you not to fill it past 2/3rds of it's capacity. Heed that rule. I don't want you dead. [OR DO I?!?]
2. Pressure cook on high pressure for 2 hours.
3. Depressurize the pressure cooker and strain out the liquid. (Reserve this. It's basic pork broth and it is wonderfully gelatinous.)
4. Break up the shoulder into chunks of meat. No, I don't need to tell you how to do this because it doesn't matter. Just break it up into smaller chunks. If you're making the stew now, reserve some for that and freeze the rest. This stuff freezes up nicely. I vacuum seal extra pulled pork, freeze it, and then pull it use it in everything from scrambled eggs to risotto.

(For the finished dish)

1. Add enough pulled pork for two people, the bread, broth, salt, chipotle peppers, to a medium sized pan. If you want to get specific, anything from 1.5qt to 3qt is fine for two people. Have bigger? Not a problem. Smaller? It'll be tight but don't stress.
2. Warm everything over medium to medium-low heat. You're not looking to cook anything here, just warm it up. 
3. Put it in warmed bowls. Yeah, I warm my bowls and you should to. You ever put food in a bowl and it's cold by the time it's on the table? Cold bowl and hot food makes for a shitty meal. Nuke your bowls for a minute or two in the microwave. You'll thank me. 
4. Eat it. (I don't think I need to put this in here but I'm sure someone out there will get confused and email me some horror story about how they didn't know what to do after they cooked and plated it. I don't know, maybe not. People are weird.