Anthony's Man-Cold Grog

When a Man gets sick, the world must pay.

The only thing that can cheer up a Man stricken with a Man-Cold is a Man-Cold Grog [Yes the capitals are deserved, as any Man who has endured a Man-Cold will tell you].

And so I give this to not my fellow Man, but to every Woman who has put up with a Man with a Man-Cold.

---

• 2 oz aged rum (I use El Diplomatico Reserva Exclusiva 12yr)

• 1/2 oz freshly squeezed lime juice (I don't measure when I'm sick; it was a gentle squeeze of half a lime.)

• 2 Tbsp honey (use as much or as little as you need)

• 8oz water

---

1

Tell the world you have a Man-Cold.

---

2

Boil the water. 

---

3

Add all ingredients to your Man-Cold Grog mug and stir, consume, and repeat ALL steps.

chicken & egg, AT THE SAME TIME [mind blown]

The little waste-not-want-not gremlin within me gets off on using leftovers.

I cooked a chicken last night and didn't eat all of it [because I'm not a complete caveman]. And my normal routine of 4 whites and 2 yolks [don't fret, I save the yolks for quick custard] felt like it wanted to reconnect with its chicken mama. 

That, and Wiff not-so-subtly took all the ingredients out of the fridge as a hint that it was feeding time.

---

Total Time: 15 minutes
Serves 2
300 calories / serving

Ingredients

• 4 egg whites
• 2 egg yolks
• 40g cheddar cheese [1 handful; about 1/2 cup]
• 2g kosher salt [ two three-finger pinches]
• 4g Canola oil [1 tbsp-ish]
• 100g Kale [two-handed handful, manhand sized]
• 100g leftover chicken [breast and thigh meat plus some unidentifiable meat parts]
• 25g leftover red onion [maybe 1/3 c?]
• 1/4c water [optional, to help wilt the kale]

---

RECIPE

1. Whisk together egg yolks and whites and half the salt in a bowl.
   Keep whisking until it's a homogeneous mixture. You don't want be snotty chunks of white in there. [Or maybe you're into that?]
2. Add oil and kale to a large frying pan and heat over medium high heat. Don't touch it.
   Seriously, the only way these superfoods/weeds taste good is when they're browned [scroll to the bottom of that page for more info].
3. Once the kale bottoms are browned, flip them over. Add the chicken and onion. Mix to combine, and then DO NOT TOUCH. You want everything browned.
   Taste the kale. Does it taste good? You like that? If not, add the last gram [three fingered pinch of salt]. Then reserve the kale mixture to a bowl.
4. Melt the butter in the same pan [#onePotMeal] and adjust heat to medium-low. Add eggs.
   Most people fuck scrambled eggs up. Put down the mimosa for 5 minutes and give these eggs the love and attention they deserve. Some chicken [probably the one you had last night] surrendered its eggs so that you could grow big and strong. Don't let it down.
5. Slowly stir the eggs with a silicone spatula. You can add the cheese all at once at the beginning or intermittently as the eggs scramble [my fave]. DO NOT OVERCOOK THE EGGS.
   Remember what I said about most people overcooking them? They get too dry and then they taste like shit. If your eggs usually suck [they probably do] then experiment with me [wink] and remove them from the heat when they look just a little underdone to you. They should be shiny. They will continue to cook on the plate.

Experiments with Laughing Gas

Those of you in the know are well aware that I recently bought an iSi Gourmet Whip Plus. Most people use them to make whipped cream, a purpose which this devices handles deftly, but we are not most people.Fancy chefs also use these for foams and emulsions. [We'll save those for a latter date.]Today we'll be using it to infuse booze with flavor.Our first base spirit is white rum.Why white rum?Because I don't keep vodka in my house and the white rum was the cheapest base spirit I had available. I think I paid $14 for a full liter.And I love daiquiris.So much.*...drinks two daiquiris...*aaaand we're back.The results were absolutely fantastic.GIVE IT A SHOT.

---

Basic Infusion Recipe:

• 10g of something (lemon, pistachios, etc)
• 10g of some complementary flavor (basil, coffee, etc)
• 120ml (4oz) base spirit (vodka, rum, whiskey, etc)

Equipment:

• Cream whipper (e.g., iSi Gourmet Whip Plus)
• N2O charger (not CO2)
• A sturdy liver

---

Recipe

1. Add all ingredients to the whipper, secure lid, charge with N2O charger, and shake for a few seconds.
2. Gently swirl or vigorously shake for 60 seconds.
3. Slowly vent the gas. [Feel free to inhale if you like rum-flavored whippets].
4. Strain and reserve the liquid. Discard the solids. Use in your new favorite drinks!

Pistachio Coffee Rum

Ingredients

[makes 4oz infused spirit, enough for 2 cocktails]:

• 10g Shelled Pistachios [small handful]

• 10g Whole Coffee Beans [small handful

• 4oz (120ml) white rum

Special Equipment:

• Whip cream dispenser [e.g. iSi Gourmet Whip]

• 1 N2O charger [do not use soda chargers]

Use in:

• Pistachio Coffee Daiquiri

---

Recipe

1. Put all ingredients into the whipper. Close the whipper and charge with the N2O charger and shake for a second or two.

2. Wait 30 seconds and then shake again.

3. Wait another 30 seconds, slowly depressurize, then open the whipper. Strain the now-flavored rum into a small carafe/vessel and use in a drink.

Dolores Umbridge

 

---

Ingredients

• 1.5oz Gin

• 1oz Campari

• 1oz Freshly Squeezed Lemon Juice

• 1/2oz Triple Sec [the cheap stuff is preferred here]

• 1 egg white

---

Recipe

1. Add the egg white to an empty shaker, seal the shaker, and shake for 30 seconds.

2. Add all ingredients to the shaker and fill with ice.

3. <potterReference>
   Shake and repeat "I must not tell lies" enough times to let the message sink in.
   </potterReference>

4. Strain and pour into a chilled cocktail glass.

Polyjuice Potion

 

Polyjuice Concentrate

Ingredients

• 1 english cucumber

• 1 large handful spinach

---

Recipe

1. Throw cuke and spinach and blend until smooth. 
2. Reserve. [Reserving things is fancy-speak for "put in a jar" or "don't throw it out."]

---

Polyjuice Potion

Ingredients

• 1/2oz PolyJuice Concentrate [hopefully you saw the recipe above?]

• 1/2oz Gin

• 1/4oz Freshly squeezed lime juice [ALWAYS freshly squeezed]

• 1/4oz Green Chartreuse [don't use yellow; it's much too mellow for this]

---

Recipe

1. Add all ingredients to a shaker full of ice.
2. Shake and strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

Butterbeer

There are a lot of Butterbeer recipes out there. Most are terribly sweet.

This one is so effing fantastic I decided to share it with you Potterites. It's a little sweet, but not cloyingly so.

---

Ingredients

• 2 oz good bourbon. I used Woodford Reserve and it was incredible.

• 1/2 oz Butterscotch sauce. The 15 minutes it takes to make your own are well worth it. In a pinch, you can use salted caramel sauce, or something similar.

• 4-6oz regular or diet cream soda, depending on how sweet you prefer your drinks

---

Recipe

Add all ingredients except the diet cream soda to a mixing tin, mason jar, tupperware thingy, or whatever you have that has a lid.

Shake heartily and strain into a double old fashioned glass.

Top with 4-6oz cream soda.

Harry Potter cosplay and chug.

Butterscotch Sauce

Ho. Lee. SHIT I love butterscotch. And caramel. [And pronouncing it care-uh-mel, not car-mel.]

I've never made butterscotch before but decided it was going to be a key ingredient in a Harry Potter- themed cocktail this Halloween.

---

Ingredients

Yields 2 cups

• 342 g brown sugar [a little over one cup]

• 114 g butter [1 stick, I don't care if it's salted or not]

• 114 g heavy cream [~1/2 cup]

• 34 g water [a few tablespoons]

---

Add brown sugar, butter, and water to a small saucepan.

Heat to a boil over medium heat and boil for 10 minutes.You want the sugar to completely dissolve and the butter to brown a bit here. It may take less or more time. It'll smell a little nutty when it's brown.

Remove from heat. Add heavy cream.It may bubble vigorously for a few seconds. Do not panic. This is normal. But don't do something stupid like stick your face in there and get splattered on.

Let cool a bit and pour into glass jars. Eat this on top of ice cream [like me], in your Harry Potter-themed Butterbeer recipe [also like me], or by the spoonful in the middle of the night while no one's watching [...no comment...].

The Dirty Mela

Ohhhh... you so dirty.

This is the Dirty Mela. An Anthony LeDonne original. I'm probably not the first to mix these three ingredients in these ratios, but I AM the first to post it on my website. And, since my website is my world, I'm the first to make it. Ever. [No arguments.]

Applejack is a watered down version of apple brandy, and by "watered down" I mean "cut with 80 proof grain neutral spirits." You'd think that would make an inferior product. And you'd probably be right. But in this drink Applejack is better. And cheaper. Don't waste a delicate apple brandy in here... Your wallet will notice the difference more than your tongue.

The name Dirty Mela points to the drink's roots: mela, Italian for apple, and dirty... well I don't know why dirty was in there. But it felt right [translation: Wiff named it so it's not changing].

Ingredients

1oz Laird's Apple Applejack
1oz Noilly Prat Sweet Vermouth
1oz Campari

Directions

Add everything to a mixing tin/glass/jar/container full of ice. Stir for 60 seconds. Strain into a chilled cocktail* glass.

*Don't call it a martini glass. This isn’t Applebee's. Also, don't call cocktails martinis unless they are Martinis, made only with gin and dry vermouth (although a dash of orange bitters is acceptable per the original recipe). A "vodka martini" is called a Kangeroo. And yeah, you should feel weird saying that; that's the price you pay for drinking a "vodka martini". [Can you feel my judgement?]

Kale chi-... [I really don't want to write this]

---

It goes against every part of my being to say I like kale.Why? [thanks for asking]Detoxers & Cleansers.They ruined it for me. Why? [thanks again, I owe you one]I hate them; they love kale; and, by the Transitive Property I should also hate kale. [I think that's right...]But I don't. I actually kinda like it. Not for any of it's purported health benefits. But because it tastes fucking awesome.When done properly.[That's good enough for a segue, yeah?]

---

The Ingredients:

• 100g Kale [1 bunch, exactly 19 leaves]

• 20g Olive Oil [1/2 a shot glass full]

• 1g kosher salt [don't wuss out here; salt makes food taste good.]

---

1

Go all Eve on that kale and remove the ribs. Use a knife and cut along either side of the rib. I grab each leaf by the rib end and hack downward along the rib.

2

Wash and spin dry the kale. Or not. Just don't blame me if you get the shits.

3

Put the kale in a large bowl. Add olive oil and salt. Get in there with your hands and mix everything up. If you scale this recipe up you may need to do this in batches. 

4

Dump that oiled up kale on a foil-lined baking sheet and toss in an oven at 400˚F. It's done when it's crispy and brown. Probably 15-20 minutes.

5

Tell me how many "toxins" you removed in the comments below.

Steak, Couscous, Spinach

Ingredients

Makes 2 Servings

• 1 12oz Strip Steak
• 1 8oz box couscous
• kosher salt
• spinach
• olive oil

---

Recipe

1. Cook steak in a bag in a water bath at 133˚F for about an hour. This assumes you've got a steak that's 1 inch thick. If it's 2 inches it could take 3 hours. 
2. Remove the steak from the bag and reserve. [Reserve just means don't throw it away. Hopefully you weren't going to throw out the star of this show, but I wouldn't put it past you.]
3. Cook spinach like this. It's easy. I promise. 
4. Boil water for couscous. Remove from heat and add couscous. Wait five minutes for couscous to puff up. Find another reason to say the word couscous. [Couscous.]
5. Heat a pan over high heat until it's really hot. This is easiest with cast iron because it can take a beating. If you're not sure how hot "really hot" is, put the oil in the pan and add the steak as soon as the oil starts smoking.
6. Sear the steak for 2 minutes on one side [presentation side] and 1 minutes on the other side.
7. Plate prettily!

Pork Chop

Ingredients

Makes 2 chops

• 2 12oz Bone-in Pork Chops [doesn't have to be bone-in. Could be bone-out. We're equal opportunity here.
• A couple thimbles full of Canola oil. [You just need some on the bottom of the pan to conduct heat to the pork. Don't freak out over how much. 3 tablespoons? 10 grams? Why not?!]
• 2 Splashkies of white wine [this is a standard use of measurement in my home bar]
• One squirt dijon mustard [squeeze the bottle until it makes one fart noise]
• Small child's handful capers [or exactly 34]
• Half a stick of butter [but which half is up to you]
• Kosher salt

---

Recipe

1. Cook the pork chops in a 135˚F water bath for about an hour for medium rare, 141˚F for medium. The exact time isn't important; aim for between 1-2 hours.
2. Remove the chops from the bag and dry with paper towels so it browns all pretty like. The hot oil has to evaporate the moisture before it can start browning the pork. The more moisture, the longer it sits in the pan, potentially overcooking it. [This is bad.]
3. Sprinkle on a liberal amount of salt. Like college student liberal.
4. Heat a pan over high heat. Add oil and heat until it starts to smoke.
5. Add chops and cook for 3 minutes on one side [the presentation side] and 1 minute on the other [the other side].
6. Remove chops from the pan and reserve [fancy for "put them on a plate"]. 
7. Deglaze the pan with the whine wine. Deglazing just means throw liquid in a hot pan and scrape the bottom to free all the brown bits [technically called "fond"]. This not only adds incredible flavor to your pan sauce, it aids in cleanup. #lazy.
8. Reduce until almost all the wine is evaporated.
9. Add dijon and remove from the heat. Stir in butter. Add capers. 
10. Plate the pork all fancy-like and spoon a few spoonfuls of the pan sauce over. 
11. Eat. 

 

Pulled Pork

Oh my god am I about to blow your mind. This is going to be one of the easiest things you ever make in the kitchen. It requires two ingredients, and no prep. If you can't throw two things into a pan and turn on heat please don't visit my site again [jk jk, I need the hits]. 

---

Ingredients

• 1 Pork Shoulder. Preferably with skin on (look for picnic pork). 
• Water

---

Recipe

1. Add the entire pork shoulder into the base of a pressure cooker. 
2. Cover with water.
3. Pressure cook for 2 hours. 
4. I let it cool overnight, first on the counter for several hours and then in the fridge. This helps the pork reabsorb some of the moisture [I think] but, more importantly, chilling it solidifies the pork fat that's risen to the top. You can scrape off the fluffy fat and reserve for use in any recipe that calls for oil. It's incredible.
5. Reserve the liquid. It will be jello consistency at this point. You've just made pork stock.
6. Shred the meat with your fingers. This is the pulled part of the pulled pork.
7. Toss it in your next pasta dish, risotto, or tacos. Or put some on a fluffy potato slider bun with BBQ sauce. 

Chicken Broth

This is going to be the most boring recipe you'll ever read. 

But it's also one of the easiest. 

And it'll produce AWESOME flavor-juice. And it's made from stuff you usually throw away. So why wouldn't you want to do this?!?

---

Ingredients

• 1 Chicken carcass, parts, stuff [I use a leftover carcass after roasting and eating a chicken]

• Roughly 1.5L / 1.5 quarts Water

---

Recipe

1. Put all chicken things into the base of a pressure cooker.

2. Add water.

3. Seal pressure cooker and cook for 2 hours.

4. Let the pressure cooker come back to room temperature.

5. Strain solids, reserving liquid. It'll keep in the fridge for a week or in the freezer until you move.

---

 

Caramelized Onions

Caramelized Onions make everything better. Even caramelized onions. Throw this on a burger. Add it to soup. Eat it right out of the jar like a slob while nobody's looking except your dog who may or may not be judging you.]

It's so good. So brown and sweet. That sounds disgusting but you get the picture.

It's also ridiculously easy to make.

If you don't have a pressure cooker just throw everything in a sauté pan and sauté over medium-low heat. It will not take 15-20 minutes like all the Food Network recipes tell you. It will take 2 hours. I'm not kidding.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some Food Network [Hi, Giada!], but unless they've got a Rachel Ray-branded time machine they're lying to you.

---

Ingredients

• Onions, julienned
• Butter

---

Recipe

1. Divide onions among 8oz glass canning jars. Add the butter on top. You can use as many/few jars as you like, I don't care. Want to cram everything in one? Go for it. Spread it out among 5 little jars? Be my guest.
2. Pressure cook at 1 bar / 15psi (usually the second red line on most pressure cookers) for 45 minutes.
3. Transfer onions to a pan and simmer over medium heat until the liquid gets all syrupy.
4. You are done.

5 Minute Quinoa

I'm just gonna come right out and say it...

Quinoa tastes like grunt.

Which is expected since people who talk about quinoa usually fit into one of three categories:

1. health nuts who prioritize pseudoscience over taste [you know who you are],
2. people who claim to eat healthy but overeat whatever health food they're crazing on and,
3. Mexicans.

[One of those is false.]

I'm in the fourth category:

Culinary Geniuses.

“Quinoa tastes like grunt.” — Anthony LeDonne

I love quinoa not because it contains a ton of complex carbohydrates, or because it's a formidable intestinal pipe cleaner, but because it's super easy to cook in bulk and makes a great base for other dishes. [Translation: I'm lazy.]

I make a batch on Sundays and add it to dishes throughout the week.

For breakfast, I fry some quinoa in a little butter/olive oil, mix in some browned greens, and throw a few fried eggs on top.

For lunch, I'll top it with pan-fried salmon, blanched leeks, and beurre blanc.

For dinner, I'll eat a steak and just stare at the quinoa [a man can only take so much fiber].

---

Ingredients

Makes 6 Servings

• 350g /  1 box of Quinoa
• 700g / 2.5 C Water/Stock/Broth
  We'll call this the "liquid" below. Get ready.
• Salt to taste
  Side note, the reason restaurant food tastes better is salt. Properly wielded it will make everything taste better. And if you're worried about your sodium intake, check the labels on all the prepared food you're shoveling down your pie hole before cutting salt out of a home cooked meal.
• 0-45g / 0-3 Tbsp Butter/Olive Oil
  We'll call this "fat" below. The quantity used it up to you. The more you use the better it'll taste.

---

Recipe

1. Heat the base of a pressure cooker over high heat. Add fat.
2. Add quinoa.
3. Toast for a few minutes. Stirring occasionally. VERY occasionally. Go have a few sips of wine. Check Facebook. You're trying to brown this stuff, not just warm it up. It should smell toasted. This will probably take 5-10 minutes to smell toasty. It's okay if you under toast it. It's not okay if you over toast it [cuz then it's burnt, yo.]
4. Add liquid and salt. Seal pressure cooker and cook for 5 minutes. Start the timer as soon as pressure reaches 1 bar/15psi (usually the second red line).
5. Run warm water over the top of the pressure cooker to depressurize and remove the lid.
6. If there's residual liquid, put it back over medium heat for a few minutes without the lid. If not, you're done!

MEXTO [MEXICO+PESTO]

You know pesto. You know Mexico.

Now meet MEXTO.

Wiff and I were recently in New Orleans and went to Aarón Sánchez's restaurant, Johnny Sanchez. His food was so good and so flavorful that I was inspired to pick up one of his cookbooks, Simple Food Big Flavor. 

His Cilantro Cotija Pesto recipe inspired me to swap out the Italian ingredients in my pesto recipe for Mexican ones. 

This groovy green concoction es increíble [Spanish for pretty good]. It’s creamy. It’s green. It’s adorned with Nasturtium blossoms because that’s what you do in Mexico [it’s not]. It’s a Mexican-Italian inter/trans/hyper-continental Frankenstino that stretches the definition of latin love [that’s not even a thing].

And so I give you...

La Última Receta Del Pesto Que Usted Necesitará Siempre

Hola. Me llamo Mexto .

Ingredients

Use my other pesto recipe for ratios. I used one bunch of cilantro and it was enough for 8 smallish helpings of pasta.

• 8oz Cilantro [I was lazy and used everything except the bottom couple of inches of the bunch.]

• 8 garlic cloves [Put the garlic in a pan, cover with cold water, and bring it to a boil. Boiling it for 5 minutes softens the overpowering bite.]

• 2 cups almonds [Pumpkin seeds are more auténtico but they are 'spensive.]

• 2 cups cotija cheese [Common in decent grocery stores, hispanic food marts, and every bodega in NYC]

• 1 1/3 cups olive oil

• Lime juice, as needed [freshly squeezed, always]. Start with a tablespoon or two and adjust per your taste.

• Kosher salt, as needed.

• Jalapeño pepper, as needed. I removed the seeds from mine because someone [our dog] doesn't like spicy stuff. Add a little at a time until it’s spicy enough for you.

Recipe

1. Throw everything except the oil into a food processor.

2. Turn it on.

3. Pour in the oil.

4. Turn it off.

In the words of Ina Garten, "How easy is that?"

Hanger Steak, Asparagus, Peas, Shiitake, Pasta, Pan Sauce

Ingredients

Makes 2 Servings

• 225g Hanger Steak (about 8 oz, or 1/2 lb)

• 100g Pasta (about 1/4 lb)

• 75g Asparagus tips (roughly the tips from one bunch, about 1 cup)

• 75g Frozen peas (about 1 cup)

• 10g Dried Shiitake mushrooms (about 1 cup)

• 10g Olive Oil (about 1 tablespoon)

---

Recipe

1. Preheat a water bath to 55˚C (131˚F). Put the steak in a ziplock or vacuum seal bag, remove as much air as possible, seal, and drop the bag into the water bath. [If you needed me to tell you to seal the bag, you have bigger problems to worry about.] Cook for an hour. It’s fine if it goes over and hour. It could be 2 hours for all I care… That’s one of the benefits of cooking in a water bath!

2. Remove the steak from the bag and reserve the juices and the steak separately. I swear to the gods I will find you and slap you if you discard the juices from that bag.

3. Bring a large sauté pan full of salted water to a boil. Taste the water BEFORE YOU ADD ANY INGREDIENTS. It should taste like the ocean. Don’t know what the ocean tastes like? It’s salty. Add the mushrooms and cook for 5 minutes. [You could also just pour a little boiling water into a bowl to rehydrate the mushrooms, but this way is simpler, less cleanup, and it flavors the pasta water! [Yay for lazy!] Remove and reserve the mushrooms.

4. Sprinkle kosher salt on every side of the steak. Heat 10g of olive oil (~ 1 tablespoon) in a large frying pan over high heat. Just as the oil starts smoking, add the meat and sear for about a minute on each side. High heat ensures maximum flavor from browning. We’ve already cooked the steak, but it looks absolutely terrible (see attached scatological mise en place photo) and needs some flavor.

5. Reserve steak to a warm area near the stove.

6. Reduce heat to medium. Deglaze the pan with the reserved juices from the steak. If you forgot to do that, you can use a few tablespoons of water and shame. Deglaze just means “add liquid to a hot pan so we can scrape the brown stuff (fond) off the bottom, which means more flavor in our sauce and easier cleanup.” [You can see why, for the sake of brevity, I prefer deglaze.] Add the reserved mushrooms. Don’t touch them. Do NOT fucking touch them. Just let them brown. They’re like children, the more hands off you are the tastier they get. [I don’t have kids.]

7. Add pasta to the water and cook for a minute less than the al dente recommendation on the package. About 5 minutes before the pasta finishes, toss the veggies in with the mushrooms.

8. Add pasta to the mushrooms and veggies (I just use tongs to grab and dump) and mix.

9. Plate with the steak. And eat.

Linguine alle Vongole

This is linguine alle vongole, which translates to...Linguine with clams [didn't see that coming, did ya].

I have no clue why we still use the Italian name. It's not as if anything is lost in translation. Linguine is Linguine. Vongole is Clams. Alle is with.

---

Ingredients

Makes 2 Servings

• 100g linguine

• 1000g little neck clams (~2lbs)

• Olive Oil

• 20g crushed garlic (leave the skins on)

• 10g Italian Parsley, finely chopped

• 150g dry white wine. (e.g., Pinot Grigio)

• 50g water (don't make me explain this)

---

Recipe

1. Steam all the clams (10 minutes total)

   1. Heat pan (large enough to hold all the clams) over medium high heat. Add oil and garlic. Simmer until golden brown. Tilt the pan to totally submerse the garlic to cook it faster. Remove and discard garlic.

   2. Add 150g (~1 cup) dry white wine and 50g water to pan. It should sizzle.

   3. Gently add clams. Cover. Adjust heat to medium-ish. [Do I need to say gently? Do people know not to throw stuff in the kitchen?]

   4. Once they're all open (~6 minutes), remove the clams to a bowl and reserve.

   5. Keep the liquid warm on low heat. Or, if you're a kitchen stud [like me] and timed the pasta and clams to finish at the same time, then leave the heat on medium.

2. Cook the pasta to 2 minutes under the package directions. That's called al dente which is Italian for "to the tooth". We're going to stick with the Italian here because al dente sounds WAY better than teeth. [You're a pro and probably started heating the water first thing, right?]

3. Grab the pasta with tongs or a skimmer and toss right into the pan cooked the clams. Add any liquid the clams may have spit up into their bowl. Turn the heat up to high. Cook the pasta for another minute or two. It'll help the sauce stick better.

4. Plate the pasta in bowls. Dump (gently) the clams on top. Grab some wine.

5. Eat.